I have a geeky plugin thing which tells me where people come from to visit my site. Today I noticed I had a few hits from people googling “why I hate the X factor”, the title of a previous post. Weird, I thought, they must have had to wade through a few (dozen?) pages to find me.
Wrong. If you type “why I hate the x-factor” into google (in the UK, at least) that post is Number 5. Under the Radio Times, Elton John and a facebook group seemingly devoted to hating the X-factor, but nevertheless… why don’t more people hate the X-factor? Do 60 million people in the UK alone like it more than I do? I mean, I know none of this is very current or new – have people just worn themselves out hating? Surely there’s a little hate left in your heart?
I sort of suspect that the truth is, X-factor polarizes. Either you love it (i.e. are a child or a socialized psychopath) or you don’t see the point expending precious calories on hating it in a particularly verbal (or the web-savvy equivalent) way.
Here’s another reason I hate the X-factor. The judging panel know fuck all about music. If Nina Simone walked in, they would tell her to tone down the civil rights stuff and slap on some Auto-Tune. And you sound like a man*. Simon Cowell is to music as Cosmo Landesman is to film – you can read his film reviews and then assume the exact opposite of what he just said, and with laser-accuracy watch great movies every time. A stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, but an upside-down clock tells the right time all the time. Even if it is a shit, shit clock. Made out of balls.
In any case, on the basis of these opinions, they berate people not meeting their “yardstick”. I know it’s all for show (fo sho), but the people competing certainly take it seriously – because, yep – this is a big opportunity for them. Usually to be laughed at and belittled. What heartwarming stuff.
I think these reasons qualify me as someone who hates the X-factor more than Elton John. C’mon, google, weave your magic – make me the X-factor-hate-iest of them all..
EDIT: No 3! Bigger than Britney! Live that dream!
*For the uninitiated reader, they would be so, so wrong. “Don’t smoke in bed” is one of the best vocals of the 20th Century, hyperbole fans.
2 responses so far ↓
1 Chris // Dec 10, 2008 at 2:33 am
You’re right, it is bullshit; and I hate it equally.
My biggest problem with it, apart from the crime to music that it is, and the disillusionment it creates as to what music is (as you’ve stated), is the immorality of it all.
I knew a guy who went on X-Factor once; he got quite far, too, but he revealed to me that you actually go to a panel of judges before you go through to the Simon Cowell panel.
This means that all the people that the public are laughing at, the reason they get upset is that besides all the pushing and pressure from their famiies, they’ve been let through for one reason: because they’re bad, i.e comedy value.
I just hate how genuinely evil that is. I know it can be funny to laugh at peoples’ misfortune at times, but when you see people who have been led to believe that they’re something other than a joke; you’ve really got to ask “what the fuck is wrong with people?”
I also understand what you said in your 1st X-Factor-related post, that people should sing if it makes them happy, and I agree; however I do think that in some cases, the family does make it worse for the individuals – because they are the reason the individual has gone to the X-Factor a lot of the time. It’s just.. The show makes it… Worse.
Blah. Rant over!
2 Tom // Dec 22, 2008 at 6:40 pm
I hate how there is actually a rule which dictates that entries must not be original songs, but copies of other songs! This seems to me to be the single most counter-productive rule in the universe (coincidently, there’s a lot of Universe).
You’re right Martin – the judges do know fuck all about music. let’s go through them: Sharon Osbourne (why the fuck is she here, because she maried a musician!), that minogue girl (don’t quite understand that, music is not genetic), Louis Walsh (never heard of him, had you?). you get my point.
It’s basically just large scale bullying, of the most horrendous type.
Also, just off topic for a bit, I reallyloved the christmas song you did for Answer Me This!. Is there a chance of a single? would love to hear other songs, similar to it – made me feel all warm and emotioinal.
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