Insert hilarious caption here

The winner gets a signed CD of Tissue Of Lies. Answers via the usual address or via the comments bit of this page.

Podcast subscribers will have heard the extra special Xmas Sound of The Ladies episode. For those who haven’t, check it out. It will bring a tear to your eye.

Of course, in the absence of an income stream, how do you get people interested in working to promote your music? The goodness of their hearts? More pertinently, Mr Dubber has written in the past about ways in which you shouldn’t try to make money from your music, and even said “I believe that, generally speaking, when you’re a musician and you manage to make music your job - you’ve failed”. So I asked him “How does an artist make money from music?”

His answer was reminiscent of Curly’s “one thing” in existential movie classic City Slickers: it really is unique to the artist. But that we shouldn’t get too hung up on “selling recordings” or “getting money for performing”. He went on to point out that there is a such a suite of customizable tools available to the broadly web-savvy, that the opportunities for creating a unique way of doing things were well within anyone’s grasp. Which made me feel even more like a whiner. No-one likes a whiner.

In other news… I picked up a review at God Is In The TV for Scrape the Paint. They said

“Eschewing the pitfalls of many solo artist’s this is an album with plenty of life and invention… free to download from the official website this five-track release has a melancholic, bluesy feel with Austwick’s strong voice and smart lyrics taking centre-stage… Instrumental track ‘Not New York (in the pouring rain)’ rather wonderfully has the sound of a genuine torrential downpour in the background, as well as Austwick’s occasional sniffing… [Scrape the Paint] ear-marks Austwick as a promising and prolific talent.”

It was a really nice review, and GIITTV is a great zine - I’m grateful to them for reviewing the EP, and I think it was very thoughtful and well-written; it’s certainly made me think about certain aspects of the way I arrange songs. Merry Xmas, dudes.

Wrong. If you type “why I hate the x-factor” into google (in the UK, at least) that post is Number 5. Under the Radio Times, Elton John and a facebook group seemingly devoted to hating the X-factor, but nevertheless… why don’t more people hate the X-factor? Do 60 million people in the UK alone like it more than I do? I mean, I know none of this is very current or new - have people just worn themselves out hating? Surely there’s a little hate left in your heart?

I sort of suspect that the truth is, X-factor polarizes. Either you love it (i.e. are a child or a socialized psychopath) or you don’t see the point expending precious calories on hating it in a particularly verbal (or the web-savvy equivalent) way.

Here’s another reason I hate the X-factor. The judging panel know fuck all about music. If Nina Simone walked in, they would tell her to tone down the civil rights stuff and slap on some Auto-Tune. And you sound like a man*. Simon Cowell is to music as Cosmo Landesman is to film - you can read his film reviews and then assume the exact opposite of what he just said, and with laser-accuracy watch great movies every time. A stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, but an upside-down clock tells the right time all the time. Even if it is a shit, shit clock. Made out of balls.

In any case, on the basis of these opinions, they berate people not meeting their “yardstick”. I know it’s all for show (fo sho), but the people competing certainly take it seriously - because, yep - this is a big opportunity for them. Usually to be laughed at and belittled. What heartwarming stuff.

I think these reasons qualify me as someone who hates the X-factor more than Elton John. C’mon, google, weave your magic - make me the X-factor-hate-iest of them all..

EDIT: No 3! Bigger than Britney! Live that dream!

*For the uninitiated reader, they would be so, so wrong. “Don’t smoke in bed” is one of the best vocals of the 20th Century, hyperbole fans.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time reading “new music strategies”-type sites, mainly Music Think Tank and, uh, New Music Strategies, which is rssed below. These sites generally involve interesting and usually knowledgable people trying to answer the question of how people make money from music.

This is real behind the curtain shit, now. It’s no secret that the industry is in transition and teh kidz assume free downloads are the norm. What’s a depressing trend in the discussion seems to be that while the tools of productions, distribution and aggregation of music are in the hands of musicians to an unprecedented level, the filtering stage happens post-production which places certain onerous but very important tasks to the musician. In the past, the filtering of music would happen at the production and distribution level too (by record labels, retailers and so on). While it’s undoubtedly a better state of affairs, it puts pressure on the musician to draw their own audience. So, musicians become machines of self-promotion too.

I can’t be the only person to whom that whole thing is alien. Self-promotion seems to a be a peculiarly un-British pastime. It’s always a bad idea to invoke a genius (and hence someone who’s an exception to a rule) to support one’s argument, but you wonder how well Nick Drake would have fared in the carnival barker’s world of the musical internets.

Promotion has always been necessary -  but now there are so many other voices shouting to be heard. What’s your USP? What’s your gimmick? I just want to write good music, and people to hear it and enjoy. There’s my non-unique selling point. Now I just need to find the time to write some music between spamming email/facebook/twitter/myspace/last.fm….. oh. And a full-time job. Sleepy now.

The cartoonist Luke Surl very nicely linked to the site - I checked his page out and particularly enjoyed his Jehovah’s Witness cartoon. Don’t worry, it’s nothing too inflammatory. Visiting his page reminded me of a cartoon I used to read called Toothpaste For Dinner. In fact, that’s a reminder for me to add it to my rss feeds - right after I get my “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate” T-shirt…

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/b00fmy0n

which should be good for 7 days. D-E-A-D is the second song on the show. Very exciting. Mr Robinson says, “…the gorgeous acoustic Sound of The Ladies, aka Martin Austwick, a quantum physicist who positively wants you to download and share his songs. ‘I’d rather people listen to my music for free than not listen to it at all,’ he says… You can find Martin’s thoughtful blog and monthly podcast at thesoundoftheladies.com…”*

Indeed! Come and download! Enjoy. Thanks again to Tom Robinson, and to his listeners; and here is D-E-A-D again: Download audio file (DEAD.mp3)
or you can download it here: D-E-A-D. There’s lots more free music to listen to and download in the music section. Or iTunes users can listen to the free podcast, featuring new music every month, by clicking here. Non-iTunes users had better email me so I can sort out the feed and stop being such a platform fascist.

I almost forgot to mention, I got this lovely review from The Icarus Club, at which I played last week:

“A superb performance from SOTL whose been getting rave reviews for his shows recently. He is truly unique and his voice, guitar playing and songwriting are of the highest order as demonstrated on his five songs “Clouds At The Top Of The Sky”, “Up Went My Dreams”, “One Of Those Girls”, “Wash The Sleep From My Eyes” and “D.E.A.D”.”

You can visit their site here, or their sister internet radio station, Icarus Radio, for top acoustic tunage.

*He also does a very spirited David Walliams impression, but I sense that something would be lost in transcription. You’ll just have to listen to it.

If you listened to the track on Tom Robinson and that’s why you’ve come to visit, WELCOME! You can listen to D-E-A-D here: Download audio file (DEAD.mp3)
or download it here: D-E-A-D. If you like it, there’s lots more free music to listen to and download in the music section.

Other news… played a lovely gig at Christina Aguilera’s favourite pub, Dirrty South in Lewisham. What a gem of a venue. Here it is:

The Dirrty Sarf. Aguilera not pictured.

The night, The Icarus Club, has a really god mix of acts- Arthur Delaney, Andrew Wiltshire, John Ray Carter and Tom Reeve had an age range of about 20 years and a style range as broad as one can have when linked with the common thread of the male voice and the guitar. That’s quite a lot, cynics. The audience varied from friends Tom Reeve had brought along, in their late teens or early twenties, to an 87 year old music fan from Brockley! I frequently find myself asking the question “Who listens to live acoustic* music?”. On the basis of this crowd, the answer is that everyone does. At least in Lewisham.

*I play electric guitar, but the nights I play are typically small acoustic nights. Although on this occasion, technical meltdown meant I played half my set on Andrew Wiltshire’s acoustic guitar (thanks again Andrew). My hands were not happy.

I’ve been working on a song based on this premise, and how people thrive on adversity; not that I wish anyone’s bank to burn down, but if it does… no use crying over spilt milk. But anyway… it’s just a song. It sounds very gloomy but it’s meant to make the point that nothing is as bad as the fear of that thing. And it should be in January’s podcast, so you’ll have to wait a while.

On the plus side, Tom Robinson’s BBC6 show has emailed me to say that they want to use the track D-E-A-D on the radios. They haven’t told me when yet, but rest assured that I will spam the crap out of it when I do…

I’ve recruited Cris and Ben for an exciting plan for the New Year, which I’m not going to say too much about yet, but will also feature Gavin Osborn from Answer Me This!/”being a great songwriter and all-round dude” fame. Watch this virtual space.

I didn’t sleep well last Saturday night, so on Sunday I became a bit deranged and obsessed with recording a bossa nova version of The Monroe Transfer’s post-rock classic “End Music”. I should explain that until very recently I played guitar with TMT so it was partly as a gift to my now ex-bandmates. I’m going to release the track in next month’s podcast as a tribute to these fine fellows and a Christmas gift for the rest of you.

I’ve been working on a new song called “What do we do when the bank burns down?” - obviously inspired by recent events - and hopefully that’ll be ready in a few weeks for January’s podcast. I’ve also got an alternative version of “deep dish” with a different feel to it. Then there are a couple of songs which I haven’t recorded called “Wash the sleep from my eyes, for one day I’ll have to awake” and “Man is not an anvil” which need quite a bit of work. I’d like to do some proper recordings of “Up! Went my dreams” with a slightly different arrangement too. And if I get the time I’ll record some of the songs of science I have backed up from earlier in the year. There is lots to look forward to here. Stay tuned.

Oh and I’ve started using twitter. I’ve no idea whether I’m doing it right, but if you’re interested you can find me - my username is soundofladies and my email address thesoundoftheladies@gmail.com. See you on the twitters!